Teacher Trekker

Imagine it is your first day in Vietnam. You just arrived at your hotel. You’re hungry and decide to eat. You go to a small food stand that doubles as a restaurant in the market. After you finish your meal, you realize that you have been overcharged $1 USD for a moist towelette without warning. You leave and make your way to the street corner. The blaring horns of motorbikes and shady taxis warn you to not venture into the street as they pass by during rush hour. You make your move and dash into oncoming traffic in an attempt to cross the garbage ridden street to make your way to your hotel, but it turns out it is a hotel with a name so similar to the one you are staying at that it confused you. You ask for assistance at the hotel, but they’re not much help, so you jump into a taxi to take you back to your lodging. The driver tours you around Hanoi, but only needed to drive a few blocks. You pay your scheming cab driver and get out to a mob of rude local touts and drunk foreign travelers that you must navigate through to reach the entrance of your hotel. You look at your watch and realize you’ve only been in Vietnam for three hours.

If you are feeling overwhelmed after reading the paragraph above, you should not abandon your trip to Vietnam. Learn more about the obstacles that you will face in the article below. Doing so will help you mentally prepare yourself for the various annoyances that are part of traveling and living in Vietnam.

# 10 – Too Many of the Same or Similar Names

There are two factors that contribute to the similarity in names throughout Vietnam. The first is the Vietnamese language. Although Vietnamese is a multi-tonal language, when written many of the words look the same to foreigners, particularly English speakers. Words are written in the Roman alphabet, but there are so many accent marks used that it creates a plethora of different words even though most tourists see the same word repeating itself over and over again. In fact there are different accents used changing the meaning of the words and phrases entirely. I have only begun to understand the proper pronunciation of some of the accents and words. From my experience, it can lead to conversations that go nowhere, or it can lead you somewhere you weren’t trying to go.

The second same name problem is the result of local businesses piggy backing on previously established businesses. Let’s say that “Happy Go Lucky Backpacker Hostel” has done very good business this year. Other investors will set up a new hostel or rename an old one to “Happy Lucky” without the “Go” or “Happy Go Lucky #2”. All of this is done in an effort to drive business to their location by using the reputation of the previously successful business. To avoid this, make sure you get proper names, addresses and relevant information. I’ve never had this problem, but know some who have.

# 9 – Stop Charging Me for Moist Towelettes

Many restaurants and food stands that provide seating give patrons moist towelettes to clean their hands. This usually happens shortly after you sit down prior to being served food. Sometimes they will try to give you the wet napkin at the end of a messy meal. Street vendors, mostly children but also some women, will also patrol the streets outside of eating establishments and bars offering to sell you towelettes. I’ve seen some places try to charge as much as $1 USD for something that if you were to pay for it should cost around $.25 USD. The first time I ate at Ben Thanh Market I paid just over $2 USD for my meal, but was magically charged an extra $1 USD for my moist towelette. The food was good! I only allowed that to happen to me once.

There are a number of things that you can do to prevent this from occurring. First, ask if they charge for the towelette, and if they say yes, politely decline. Another suggestion would be to carry your own. You can go to a store or market and purchase an entire package of baby wipes for the same price as some restaurants are charging for a single sealed wet napkin. Alternatively, almost everywhere you travel someone is handing you a moist towelette that you apparently already paid for. They’ll sometimes give them to you on flights and buses. I often save them to use at a later time. Save your money and carry your own moist towelettes and avoid frivolous charges.

# 8 – Trash Everywhere

Developing countries have problems that do not often exist in the developed world. In many cases it is simply a financial obstacle that cannot be avoided. There is only a limited amount of money and only so many programs can receive funding. Sanitation is one of the areas that is left out in an effort to provide other more immediate basic necessities to the general population.

There is garbage everywhere. Unfinished meals, inedible parts of fruits, plastic bottles and other trash are all over the place in urban centers. This in part could be due to a lack of trash cans. Don’t get me wrong, there are places to dispose of trash, but they are far and few between. Most people just start dumping garbage sometimes in a plastic bag and other times not that collects in the street and over the course of the day. At night workers who sweep the cities collect the trash, and the process is repeated the following day.

What upsets me more is the amount of rubbish that can be found in more rural settings. I remember a boat tour from the My Son Sanctuary back to Hoi An where I asked the boat captain where to toss our cigarette butts. He took it from my hands and tossed it into the river. That was exactly what I was looking to avoid. The disregard for their own natural environment is upsetting, but it’s not my home. All I can do is keep my trash and dispose of it in appropriate containers. You should do the same.

# 7 – Rude Vietnamese Tourists

Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I have noticed that some of the rudest tourists in Vietnam are the vacationing Vietnamese. More affluent Vietnamese will travel throughout the summer to a handful of locations. This was especially my experience in Dalat, where local tour groups acted as if they owned the attractions and did whatever they pleased regardless of consequence.

First of all they travel in the largest tour groups I have ever witnessed. Everyone in their family is with them and they move slowly making sure that grandma and grandpa are keeping up. Then it is necessary for 14 people to take 14 of the same photographs each with their individual camera or smartphone. They’ll be the first one to ask you to take a photo for them and often the first one to walk away when you ask for them to return the favor. Women often carry large umbrellas to block the sun. Well it also blocks my view of countless picturesque settings and pokes me in the face when they aren’t paying attention to who is in front of or behind them. Finally, they ignore all lines, but I’ll get to that shortly. These large hordes of Vietnamese tourists also move at the pace of a sloth creating huge traffic jams wearing down your patience. Add it all up, and it’s just rude.

# 6 – No Attention to Lines

While on a long customs line at the Taoyuan International Airport that had people cutting their way in and forming massive mosh pit like circles of people, a Taiwanese-American woman with dual citizenship told me that, “Asian people don’t understand how lines work” and to get used to it. Well I didn’t then, and still don’t understand now, how so many people who choose to ignore the basic rules of standing and waiting on a line can function in our modern society.

When I got to Vietnam the concept of lines was basically non-existent with only a few minor exceptions like airport security and check-in lines. Pretty much everywhere else I went, it was more of a force your way to the front survival of the fittest kind of environment. I have no problem with that, as long as I know those are the rules. Well originally I didn’t know about these rules. Included in another article is a funny story about how I aimlessly stood on a line that I created at the Ho Chi Minh City Post Office. Once I learned my lesson, I ignored lines that westerners would create in an effort to create order in a land filled with such chaos. They would think I was being rude, but I reminded them that we were in Vietnam and lines are only created by the people willing to stand on them. Once the locals started passing them, they got the clue and understood where I was coming from.

# 5 – Time – Do You Have a Watch?

Based on my time in Vietnam, it feels like the concept of time and punctuality are completely foreign to the Vietnamese. Tour companies tell you a pick up time, and it is more often an average of 30 minutes later before your transportation arrives. This applies to day tours, night buses, and you name it. The trains can also be an issue. After a while you just get used to it and adjust to what a friend of mine refers to as “Asia Time.” It doesn’t eliminate the fact that it is quite irritating. I have many stories about this annoyance, but I’ll only share two.

I was told to be ready for my tour pick up at 8:00 a.m., which I was, despite knowing that I could’ve taken a few extra minutes in the morning. (Murphy’s Law says the one time you are late, they’ll show up on time, and then you’re the one at fault.) At 8:45 a.m. I started to get concerned and had my hotel receptionist call the agency. They apologized and said they got the hotel name wrong. I’m glad I called, or it seemed that they would have made no attempt to pick me up. To remedy the situation I was ushered into a regular taxi that sped me off across town. He ran the meter and didn’t speak a lick of English. The receptionist told the driver something. For the next hour he was fighting his way through traffic towards the outskirts of Hanoi, while he chatted on the phone with someone. At some point he just stopped on the side of the highway and pointed for me to get out. Out to where or what I thought to myself, but as I was exiting a tour van pulled up and a guide told me to jump in. They took me to a rest stop area where I was then brought to another van. Yes, the van that never picked me up.

I remember another instance in particular where I waited for well over 2 hours for my night bus to pick me up. I was nervous, because people I was hanging out with missed their night bus completely the day earlier because of another hotel mix up. Fortunately, the bus company didn’t repeat their mistake two nights in a row and eventually picked me and many other passengers up.

There are two exceptions. Everyone knows when it time to break for lunch and end the work day. Many of the government buildings and tourist attractions close around 11:30 a.m. for lunch. The streets are flooded with locals on their motorbikes heading to grab their afternoon meals. Restaurants and food stands are buzzing with hungry patrons. The same occurs at 5:00 p.m. when the standard workday ends and the evening begins.

# 4 – Watch Where You Walk

In Vietnam the sidewalks throughout urban environments are anything but that. Some are dedicated to motorbike parking spots. Most stores have products flooding onto the sidewalks in an effort to draw in customers by narrowing the walking path. Other vendors and food stands crowd them with part small plastic chair and table seating. At times it is part kitchen sink and part garbage for the restaurant or food stand also occupying the space. Don’t forget the motorbikes that ignore and avoid the lights by hoping onto the sidewalk to cut a corner and blow a light.

Finally, it is part walkway, that is if you can find flat unbroken pavement to walk on. More often you will encounter broken stones and tiles. Add that all up and it usually makes what should be a leisurely stroll a walk through a minefield. Many people find it annoying and stressful even for a New York City native like myself. I find there are no rules whatsoever. However, you will need to get used to the risks of walking in the street, which is often required.

The streets themselves are their whole own problem and are often quite intimidating to foreigners new to Vietnam. I’ve seen many tourists stand on street corners waiting for an opportunity to cross the street. There rarely is one and you need to blaze your own trail. There are street lights and signs. Sometimes the rules are observed and other times they are ignored by the locals. There is little rhyme or reason with the exception of areas with visible police officers who will give tickets to rule breakers. That being said, there is a certain controlled chaos despite what appears to look like madness to the unknowing.

There are unwritten rules of the road that will help you avoid walking into traffic and never making it out. First, motorbikes always have the right of way. Second, there are pedestrian walkways with lights to indicate when to cross the street. Use them. They aren’t everywhere, but it makes crossing streets easier when available. Third, when crossing the street with oncoming traffic do not panic. Let the vehicles do the work and continue along your walking path. It’s just easier that way. They will avoid you. Additionally, don’t freeze up, walk backwards or suddenly change your walking speed. That’s when you throw off the driver and put everyone at risk. Finally, always pay attention to the corners and the sidewalks to make sure someone isn’t going to turn into you while you are crossing the street. If you decide to drive your own motorbike, keep these suggestions in mind and those in the section below, but I warn you that you’re dealing with a completely different demon. I would bump into at least a tourist a day with road rash and an accident story. Either way, pay attention, get off your phone and watch where you are walking.

# 3 – Honk, Honk Honk Honk, HONK

The general disregard for observing traditional traffic laws results in the next annoyance when traveling throughout Vietnam. Southeast Asian drivers love their horns and the Vietnamese are no exception. I’ve been told that people are honking to let you know they are coming. They are being courteous, which I can appreciate, but only to an extent. Back home in the United States and much of the Western World horn honking connotes with road rage and angry annoyed people who want to rip off someone’s head for not going fast enough or blocking their way. When I would use a turn signal, a Vietnamese uses their horn.

I remember one occasion where we had a sleeper bus driver who apparently didn’t get the memo that it was a sleeper bus. He laid on the horn for 12 straight hours and even some of the locals were wide awake. It felt as if every time the driver sensed someone was about to fall asleep he’d lay on the horn for a good 5 seconds. My headphones on full blast only partially blocked out the sound. That was not a fun trip.

I’ve noticed there are different patterns used to signify particular maneuvers. Most of the honking sounds like short bursts of automatic gunfire. They’re letting you know they are coming up to pass you. It’s a warning to the slower driver and actually is courteous. Then there is the series of what I would call 1 second honks. That indicates you are going to slow, are in the way or doing something wrong. Finally, every once in a while you hear someone lay on the horn for seconds at a time. That’s the I’m coming and there’s nothing you can do about so get out of my way or we’re all going to crash. If you’ve ever whipped around the mountains in the pitch black without guard rails to save you, then you’re familiar with the sound to which I’m referring. After a while they eventually all drown out into one long never-ending horn blast until that errant horn blast comes and scares the ever-living life out of you.

# 2 – Rude Foreign Tourists

It’s unfortunate that one of the most annoying things I’ve seen during my time in Vietnam was disrespectful foreign tourists. Actually, the most annoying thing about traveling anywhere is the rude tourists. Some of them are extremely young and don’t realize how disrespectful they are acting. Others are drunk and think that that’s an excuse. Sometimes it’s a combination of the two. I remember an 18 year old who told me he was going to hit me, because I grabbed him and told him to “pay attention to his surroundings”. He was a bit tipsy and about to fall off a ledge into the river in Hoi An, but didn’t realize it. Fortunately, his friends realized what I was doing and shut down their inebriated companion.

Another group is unaware of the socio-cultural nuances of the Vietnamese people and/or their history. They wear inappropriate clothing to temples and other holy sites. Most make every attempt to avoid following the clothing rules as possible. There are the knuckleheads who follow the monks during morning alms to take photographs despite being told not to interfere with their morning rituals. I’ve seen people act rudely to handicapped locals many of whom are the victims of the long lasting side effects of Agent Orange and other cancer causing chemicals dropped on the Vietnamese countryside during the Vietnam War. Then there are the touchers. You know, those people that, despite the signs, do whatever they want whenever they want. For example, the group of girls who wanted to take photos of themselves doing yoga poses on top of ruins at the My Son Sanctuary despite the sign that said not to touch anything. People forget this is not their country, so they should stop acting like they own the place. We are guests in their homeland and need to act accordingly.

# 1 – Scamming & Scheming

As mentioned in my Top 15 Scams in Vietnam article, the most annoying thing that you will encounter is the scamming and scheming throughout the country. There are many different schemes worth reading about prior to any visit to Vietnam, especially those conducted by the motorbike and taxi drivers. It felt like I was the most at risk of getting ripped off when having to deal with transportation in Vietnam, particularly short local fares. Keep in mind not all of the drivers and companies are doing this, but it creates a paranoia that the drivers are out to get you and looking to rip you off. I’ve had tourists on multiple occasions ask me if the cab I just got out of had a good meter, because they recently got ripped off. They would rush their way into the cab in order to not get taken a second time. If there was a bit more honesty, I would gladly tip the drivers accordingly.

Conclusions

Vietnam can be a very overwhelming place to new tourists. This is particularly the case for anyone who has never traveled throughout Southeast Asia before. The sights, sounds and smells can assault the senses. Avid travelers should be more seasoned and familiar with some of these problems. While a number of them occur in many less developed countries, a few are unique to Vietnamese culture. Personally, it feels like there is a multiplier effect that occurs in Vietnam that exacerbates these obstacles and makes your brain feel like it’s in a vortex.

The purpose of this article is to inform readers of the potential annoyances that you may experience while traveling through Vietnam. Some of them can simply be avoided. Others will be much more obvious obstacles that you can’t get around, and thus why they rank higher on my list. Hopefully, the information above will better prepare you to handle the myriad of hindrances and prevent a mental and/or emotional meltdown while in Vietnam. Stay Calm & Trek On!